Amazing Deductional Ability!!

After months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from Odessa (in Russia ) was granted permission to visit Moscow . He boarded the train and found an empty seat. At the next stop a young man got on and sat next to him. The scholar looked at the young man and thought:


This fellow doesn't look like a peasant, and if he isn't a peasant he probably comes from this district. If he comes from this district, then he must be Jewish because this is, after all, a Jewish district.

 

On the other hand, if he is a Jew, where could he be going? I'm the only Jew in our district who has permission to travel to Moscow .

 
Ahh..! But just outside Moscow there is a little village called Samvet, and Jews don't need special permission to go there. But why would he be going to Samvet?

He's probably going to visit one of the Jewish families there, but how many Jewish families are there in Samvet? Only two - the Bernstein’s and the Steinberg’s. The Bernstein’s are a terrible family, and a nice looking fellow like him must be visiting the Steinberg’s. But why is he going? The Steinberg’s have only daughters, so maybe he's their son-in-law.

But if he is, then which daughter did he marry? They say that Sarah married a nice lawyer from Budapest , and Esther married a businessman from Zhitomer, so it must be Sarah's husband. Which means that his name is Alexander Cohen, if I'm not mistaken. But if he comes from Budapest , with all the anti-Semitism they have there, he must have changed his name.

What's the Hungarian equivalent of Cohen? Kovacs. But if they allowed him to change his name, he must have some special status. What could it be? A doctorate from the University.

 
At this point the scholar turns to the young man and says, "How do you do, Dr. Kovacs?"

"Very well, thank you, sir." answered the startled passenger. But how is it that you know my name?"

"Oh," replied the Talmudist, "it was obvious."

SELF APPRAISAL

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers). The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation.
Boy: Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): I already have someone to cut my lawn.
Boy: Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now.
Woman: I’m very satisfied with the person who is presently cutting my lawn.
Boy: (with more perseverance) : Lady, I’ll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach , Florida.
Woman: No, thank you.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.
Store Owner: Son… I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.
Boy: No thanks.
Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the Job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady I was talking to!’
Moral: This is what we call SELF APPRAISAL. Every time if we don’t get ahead of others, we blame others for it. We should look to our self and compare, find own weaknesses and work hard to throw away weaknesses. Always Work Hard, Honest and with full Dedication. It will always pay up.